Please, delete all footage of my rapes.
I was raped as a little girl.
My rapists, knowing who my beautiful mother and grandmother were, deafened me in one ear. This forced my family to take me in for surgeries. Otherwise, I would have suffered the agony of slowly going deaf as a three-year-old child.
Once, I was a child who loved to dance and draw and write.
Rapists knew that many artists in my family happened to be beautiful. I agree that my Mama and Papa are lovely people. Ordinary people admire desirable bodies from afar or try to win the attention of handsome lovers.
Rapists force or coerce their victims. Monsters torture their objects of desire. Pedophiles target children for many reasons - lust, free access, and because innocents learn to distrust their truth. When I was three years old, I woke up crying about blood and “cold, sticky stuff” on my thighs. Doctors encircled the surgical room and told me I was a bad little girl—a naughty child. “Bad with surgeries.” “Sensitive.” Easy things for rapists to teach a child who only hopes to be “a good little girl.”
My left ovary was already destroyed by rapists’ knives when I took this selfie in the bathroom of the house I rented. I do not think that the photo is obscene because I am topless - I am covering my breasts with my arm in a plastic bag. The image symbolizes how my body was treated as if it were a cosummable good that my rapists could dispose of like trash when they finished torturing me.
My rapists loved to watch me cry. Rapists tortured a child sexually, sterilized me as if I were an animal, and stabbed my clitoris with needles.
I was diagnosed with endometriosis in 2015. Multiple surgeons let me know that there are scars on my cervix from when I was seven years old. My uterus was shredded when I was 12 and my left ovary ruined sometime afterwards. I didn’t start my period at age seven - my male rapists knew I could possibly get pregnant at that age.
Women willing to rape children exist. They understand how to lie and how to weaponize stereotypes. My classmates at Columbia University and friends in New York City let me know that the women who tortured me are active in some kind of international syndicate.
No one deserves to be raped, tortured, or blackmailed for things they did not consent to do.
People believe evil things about innocent people.
Strangers call me “Sexie Lexie” sometimes. I hate that nickname. When I was looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend on dating apps, strangers described fucking me to death. Anonymous people told me I was disgusting for being on Bumble, Hinge, or OKCupid. I wondered why. A few said that I was “lying” to innocent prospective boyfriends about “my pornstar past” which baffled me. I have never consented to appear in porn. I trust that none of the past lovers I sent nudes to ever shared those images. I dance on video but I don’t want to take videos of myself having sex or masturbating. It’s just not something I want to do.
I’ve seen how innocent people are called terrible things. People who rape innocents cover their crimes with lies. I believe that some kind artists, activists, and scientists have gone through public hell because their attackers obtained photos. That’s what my rapists did, and now I am treated as if I am a lying porn star. I was never paid for my rapes nor my appearance in child pornography. I ask any site hosting footage of my rapes, torture, and mutilations to take down that content now.
I know what happened to me happens to so many innocent people.
Personally, I don’t think I’m any more or less innocent than anyone else. I understand how stereotypes work though. Feel free to tokenize me. Join me in saying that you believe bad things happen to ordinary people.
If you don’t feel comfortable talking about how you were assaulted, coerced, or blamed for things you didn’t do: just say “I believe girls” or “I believe women” or “Lexie didn’t deserve that.” Use my photo if you want to say “Protect innocent people.” I haven’t felt innocent since age four but go ahead: take the symbol and run with it. If you need a symbol that people don’t deserve to be raped and tortured and sterilized forcibly, here: take this. Or the other photos.
Feel free to paste this link if you want to ask a website to take down photos or videos obtained without your consent. Smack this cruel world upside its evil head. I’ve never signed a modeling contract, never worked in Hollywood, and the only money I’ve earned from my art is via the Ko-Fi account for my YouTube channel that never really took off. If someone alleges that I deserved to be raped because I was related to Harper Lee, Peggy Lee, and came out looking like a “green matcha chai” Marilyn Monroe then that person is evil.
No one deserves to be raped. The damage that’s been done to my body and soul cannot be undone. I lived to tell the tale. Feel free to use my story to make it easier to talk about something awful that happened to you, your family, a friend, or someone you care about. If you trust that people who say that they’ve been raped are telling the truth then I invite you to share this link as well.
All children are innocent.
